Speak to Colorado Academy Third, Fourth, and Fifth Graders, and you quickly come to understand that in the Lower School’s Buddy program—which pairs them up with students in Pre-K through Second Grade—the older kid doesn’t always call the shots.
“One of my Buddies loves to play soccer at recess, and the other likes the monkey bars,” explains Fifth Grader Stella Springmeyer. “One of them loves to talk, and the other doesn’t talk at all. One takes you this way, the other pulls you that way, and sometimes I just can’t handle it!”
Hudson Farmer, a Third Grader who’s getting used to having a younger Buddy for the first time, agrees, “I find it kind of stressful, to be honest. My Buddy is in Kindergarten. First he’s over there, and then he’s somewhere else. I’m wondering, ‘Where’d he go?’ I try to keep up with him and play with him, but it’s really challenging.”
“You always have to keep one eye on them,” adds Third Grader Reagan Davis, “because my Buddy loves to run. She likes to play ‘Chase the Buddy’ and run and run.”
The unstructured experiences are intentional, according to Lower School Principal Angie Crabtree. “One of the main goals of the Buddy program at CA is to challenge these older elementary students with understanding and working out how to get along with someone who’s not like them—whose different maturity level and behavior demand patience and good listening. Developing empathy is at the heart of the social emotional learning we emphasize in the Lower School.”
Or as Stella puts it, “A lot of people say that having a little Buddy can be a bit chaotic, and I have to agree. But that’s all part of the thrill.”
Buddies meet frequently throughout the school year, sharing planned activities such as holiday crafts, reading, dress-up days, and hallway decorating; and they come together for impromptu playtimes and lunchtimes, snack breaks, field trips, library visits, and other occasions whenever they see each other around campus.
“Sometimes when I go outside and I see my Buddy and start walking towards him, he’ll realize it’s me and yell my name and then run up to me and give me a big hug,” says Fourth Grader William Lopez. “It’s nice to know there’s someone who looks forward to seeing you and thinks you’re a special person.”
Indeed, there are big rewards for the older-sibling-like figures, just as there are for the younger ones: the frequent hugs and high-fives, pride at helping someone sound out a word or write their name, the knowledge that this is valuable leadership experience for the future.
“Having a little Buddy is like how you have to deal with people at different levels of everything,” Fifth Grader Jackson Greenberg explains. “If you’re playing a game at recess and you’re a star soccer player, maybe you don’t need to always try to win. If you’re solving a math problem with someone who’s just learning, but then zone out and do it all yourself, that’s not fun for anyone. All your life you will be dealing with people who aren’t the same as you, and you have to dial down your competitive nature sometimes.”
That their little Buddies look up to them—and even talk about them with their teachers and friends—both awes and delights the big Buddies. “I see it all the time,” relates Crabtree. “Their little Buddy tries to act like them and chooses behaviors and words just like theirs.”
“Sometimes they try to impress you,” notes Fourth Grader Susie Dias, “and even though it might not be that cool, you’re not going to tell them that; you’re going to say, ‘Wow, that’s super-cool!’”
You also might want to be a role model, emphasizes Reagan. “If you do something you’re not supposed to do, then they’ll think it’s okay and start doing it. Or maybe it’s okay if we jump off the high monkey bars, but they can’t, and it’s not safe, so maybe we shouldn’t do it.”
“Having someone to kind of care for or watch over—that’s my favorite part of Buddies,” says Jackson. “You get to see them from Pre-K to Kindergarten to First and Second Grade, and they’ll always smile and say ‘Hi’ to you.”
The amazement goes both ways. “Sometimes when we’re doing crafts, they’ll have these really good skills, like with scissors or markers,” adds Stella. “And I’ll think, ‘How are you doing that?’ Because when I was your age, I could write my name, but it was all scribbled and weird. Now they have these perfect letters and amazing writing, and I’m like, ‘What!?’”
The thing about little Buddies, it turns out, is that they know plenty that their big Buddies don’t—like the rules to a secret hiding game. “That’s the fun part,” explains William. “Because you get to learn new things on that adventure.”